


Clawing At Own Throat

by H_Faith_Marr



Series: Blue Spirit AU [4]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bad Things Happen Bingo, Blue Spirit AU, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Nightmares, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Prompt: Clawing at Own Throat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:40:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22537915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/H_Faith_Marr/pseuds/H_Faith_Marr
Summary: He knows this dream.
Relationships: The Gaang & Zuko (Avatar)
Series: Blue Spirit AU [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1574527
Comments: 78
Kudos: 1308





	Clawing At Own Throat

**Author's Note:**

> This one's a bit shorter than the others, but I just wanted to get it out because I couldn't think of anything else for it. Next update will be fluffier? Hopefully?

The noise of the crowd rises and falls like the tide, sharp and loud and overwhelming one moment, shapeless and distant the next. A tall shadow stands before him wreathed in flame.

He knows this dream.

He’s on his hands and knees, full of passion and confusion and bitter, burning loyalty. The words are on the tip of his tongue, _father, please, I am your loyal son_ —

He knows this dream, and in the dream the words never make it past his teeth.

Two hands reach for him, one cupping his face and one gripping his throat. They ignite, twin suns in all their fury— 

(Judgement of Agni, of the Fire Lord, of a father, of a spiteful and dangerous man.) 

He screams but there is no sound. The crowd cheers, roars, devours and drowns him in a wave of sound. The hand at his throat, still burning, twitches. Squeezes tighter.

He lifts his hand to claw it away with the desperation of a child afraid and alone and betrayed. The noise of the crowd rises and rises and—

“Blue!”

Zuko wakes up.

\---

Sokka has no idea what’s going on, but he doesn’t like it. 

He’s absolutely certain now that Blue doesn’t speak because he _can’t_. Those horrible, wheezing whines and broken half-cries would be _screams_ coming from anyone else. Sokka shudders just thinking about it. They sounded _painful_.

When Blue had first stirred, Sokka had brushed it off as restless sleep. Then came the sounds, the _whimpers_. How could he, in good conscience, leave the guy to suffer in his sleep after _that_?

His feelings about the whole thing solidified completely into _alert concern_ when Blue started clawing viciously at his own throat, as if he couldn't _breathe_. If it weren’t for that cloth covering it and the guy’s own gloves he might have actually done some serious damage.

Thankfully, when Sokka called his name, shrill and panicked, the masked boy jerked awake with a strangled gasp. 

Blue still hasn’t taken his hands away from his neck, and his breathing is too intentional for him to actually be calm, but Sokka has his hands full getting Aang to land while keeping Katara away from their distressed companion. 

As soon as Appa’s out of the sky Blue is leaping out of the saddle. He hits the ground running, bolting for tree cover. Katara calls out after him, but Sokka knows he’ll be back. He left his swords behind, after all.

The sound of retching drifts up to them on the wind despite the distance and relatively still afternoon. Aang pales, and the air suddenly falls quiet.

Sokka shoots him a glare, but the airbender only glances away in sheepish discomfort.

Pulling the other two into a huddle, Sokka lowers his voice. “Give the guy some space, alright? We already know how skittish he can get, and we don’t want to chase him off. Especially when he’s like… this.”

His sister –his sweet, stubborn, too-caring-for-her-own-good sister— bites her lip. “But we can’t just leave him like this!”

“We’re not,” he reassures (though he tightens his grip on her arm to keep her from running off preemptively). “But we need to be careful about this.”

“You have a plan.” Aang notes with a slight tilt to his head, uncharacteristically focused.

He can be startlingly observant for an airhead. It wasn’t even a question. 

Sokka merely nods once in response and turns to Katara. “Remember when Tanluk was taken by pirates?”

She furrows her brow. “What does that have to do with—”

“Remember what he was like when we got him back?”

Her silence and wide eyes are answer enough.

“I don’t know what that dream was about,” he continues with a quick look over his shoulder to check and make sure Blue isn’t within hearing distance. “But it obviously wasn’t pretty. And from the way he was clawing at his neck…”

Neither of the other two ask for elaboration after he trails off. They’re both smart enough to connect the dots.

The deliberate snap of a twig breaks the silence, and the three turn to see Blue holding two halves of a small branch. Sokka, despite the circumstances, feels a strange urge to laugh. It’s just so… bizarre, to see someone have a sort of breakdown and still be considerate enough to announce his presence as best he can.

Once he’s sure he has their attention, Blue pads forward on silent feet and etches a brief message sideways into the dirt a yard or so away from them.

Aang tilts his head to see it better and reads aloud. “‘Sorry for making you lose time for your travels.’” He blinks a few times at Blue. “Um. It’s really no problem. It’s not like we’re going anywhere specific yet, and we were more worried about you than our travel time.”

“Yeah,” Katara adds. “You must have had a horrible dream.”

Blue’s shoulders rise defensively, and he writes, _I don’t want to talk about it._

Katara opens her mouth but Sokka jumps in before she can protest. “Then we won’t. We’ll wait till you feel ready to.”

The tension bleeds out of Blue a little, and he gives Sokka a grateful nod. The tribesman nods back in acknowledgement. 

(But privately he wonders how long he’ll be able to keep his sister at bay, if he even _should_ ).

Aang claps his hands. “I know what will cheer everyone up!”

Sokka’s sudden apprehension is mirrored in the shifting of Blue’s stance.

Katara, ever the enabler, asks. “What is it, Aang?”

The airbender throws his hands up and grandly declaims. “We’re going on vacation!”

**Author's Note:**

> Just so everyone knows, I'm probably going to mainly use Sokka and Zuko's POVs because I a) love them and b) can't write Katara or Aang POVs for the life of me. Just FYI.


End file.
